Duration: 14 minutes
Deal with a boss who tries to overload you or a customer who attacks you personally. Overcome shyness.
We all have rights:
• To have an opinion
• To express an opinion
• To ask for something
• To say 'no' to something
Types of communication:
• Aggressive communication - does not respect the other person's rights
• Non-assertive communication - does not respect one's own rights, loss of self esteem
• Assertive communication - respects own and other person's rights, ideal in both professional and personal life
Example 1. A friend wants to borrow something
• Recognise your own rights - feel confident about your right to say 'no'
• Don't feel guilty - say 'no' without using an excuse
• Practice not giving an excuse - excuses can lead you to being manipulated
Example 2. Your boss overloads you
• Use 'empathic assertion' - accept/acknowledge the other person's right to make the request, express own view
• Use 'working compromise' assertion - find realistic 'deal'
Example 3. You are under-confident in meetings
• Find your special edge, eg. previous experience
• Use attention grabber, eg. hand up
• Start with simple contributions, eg. about facts
Example 4. A customer is attacking you personally
• Manage your own emotions - count to 10, calm voice, breathe slowly
• Don't take it personally - focus on task
• Use 'broken record' assertion - same statement repeated calmly
Tips on developing assertiveness:
• Learning to be assertive takes time
• Developing assertiveness will bolster your self esteem which will help you develop further
• Find a 'change buddy'
• Ask for feedback
• Look for indicators/signs of need to change - stressed, angry, depressed
